I’m going shopping tomorrow with a friend. We both LOVE this one brand (axes femme) and that’s one of the stores we’re going to tomorrow. I call it the Danger Store cuz I always buy. ESPECIALLY if I go to the one closest to me because the girl there always chats me up and it makes me want to buy more. That’s why I’m going to the one in Tenjingawa instead of the local one.
Anyway, not only do we like the same brand, but we have many of the same items - in the same color, even. When we go out together, we tend to dress up because its fun. I was wondering what to wear when she sent me a message on FB asking what I was planning to wear because we really don’t want to wear the same thing at the same time. Not cuz it is like “bitch, that’s MINE” but because we don’t want to look like we tried to be twins.
So, I decided to try to make an outfit out of stuff that was either not axes femme or at least stuff I knew she didn’t have. I tried on various things and was SO happy about the fact that I could get it all on well. See, most of the stuff for the bottoms that I was trying on were things I haven’t taken out of my closet since early Fall. At that time, I had to inch them up over my hips. My hips, now at 43 inches, are my thickest part of me. My waist is at 33, so if I can just traverse my hips, usually I can get stuff to work, even if it doesn’t hang quite right.
Well, this time, I didn’t have to work at them. I just put them on. And the hip area still doesn’t sit 100% correct, but that’s because Japanese clothes are not made for a European (I’m Italian/Irish/Amish) frame. I was so happy. Also, I turn to the side and, without having to suck it in, my stomach looked okay in a side view. Not skinny, no not yet, but it looked okay. Nice, even. Still fat by local standards, but nice by US standards.
It made me happy. I wanted to try on more things. I want it to be warmer so I can wear short skirts and show off my legs that are getting thinner. I was marvelling that I have clothes with lighter and lighter colors because I’m not as afraid to let the fat show through in the front or at the back near the bra. Sure, I still have a nub of fat above my belly button that is embarrassing, but it’s smaller. It’s tolerable at this point.
I saw on the scale today that I lost another pound. It was surprising to me because my period is due on Tuesday and I am having more constipation than usual (I’m lucky to get once a week, tbh, despite how much water I drink or fiber I eat). I FEEL bad, physically, because of it. I thought for sure I would have gone up just from retention. But it went down by a pound.
I was thrilled.
But not as thrilled as I was a moment ago trying on clothes.
Also, when I come to the states in a couple weeks, I will see my older brother and his family. I’m not close to my brothers, and I know I won’t get a compliment, but I can’t help but wonder if he’ll notice that, since seeing him last, I have lost 38(+) pounds.
I was looking at pictures of me from when I worked at UCR. Pictures of me and my students. I look so much bigger in those pictures. I can’t wait until I reach my goal (somewhere between 136 and 146. About then I think I will look how I want to) and I will do a before and after thing. Also, since Taka and I do purikura once or twice a month, I can probably make it into a timeline.
38 down, 20-30 left to go. Today was inspiration.
I want to try to lose 3 more pounds before I leave for America on 3/15. Today is the 3rd. 12 more days for 3 more pounds. It’s possible, and it’s still at a healthy rate, so I will strive. Unfortunately, the period will hinder my tracking on the scale, but I’ll keep up my food and exercise log. Let’s hit that 163lbs/74kg before vacation!!!!!
Okay, the scale told me today that I went down another pound. Now I’m at 167 (76 kg).
It’s one of my mini goals to be at 163 (74kg) by the time I leave for vacation in the states on the 15th of March. I can do it - it’s more than 2 1/2 weeks away.
My next mini goal is to be at 158 (72kg) by the time the new school semester starts on April 9th. As I will be in America until March 25th, this gives me 2 weeks to get down, which is possible. HOWEVER, this kind of mini goal means I would have to be vigilant about my intake and going on walks while I’m in the US. I can’t make my goal weight if I’m trying to re-shed pounds. So, if I can limit my intake and be good with my exercising to the point that I’m just at maintenance, then I can do it. It’s 10 days of not necessarily being good, but not letting myself be bad, either.
If I continue to work really hard and lose 2.2 pounds (1 kilo) a week until the calendar-start of summer, I will reach my goal of 136 (62 kilos) by summer.
My ultimate goal’s finish line may change, but right now I’m gonna focus on the first mini goal and plan a course of action for the second.
My husband’s sage advice about sweets was that once you’re 25, you should graduate from sweets. He advises only having it once a month (outside of special events) and for that sweet to be an expensive sweet.
I laugh because that’s not gonna happen - I love sweets.
I laugh because Japanese people think their food is SO healthy, but Japanese food puts sugar in places it doesn’t belong. When I make the egg omeletes Taka likes, it’s 3 eggs, a SPOONFUL of sugar, and a nice long squeeze of mayo. Unnecessary! He thinks my eggs prepared with just pepper are strange.
I also laugh because he’s 30 and will eat 8 Parms (think Eskimo Pies) in a day if he’s home all day.
He goes on about how sweets are the number one bad thing as far as gaining weight go. Sweets can be killer, but what’s “number one” is different for everyone. My problem has always been about being able to control portions of food. When I’m not aware of how many calories something is and/or I’m not able to control how much I’m served, THAT is where I gain weight. My diet allows for sweets in moderation.
All things in moderation.
But it’s hard to change someone’s hard-wired thinking. So I just say “hmm, that’s a good theory” and keep doing what I’m doing.
The best diet is one that can turn into a lifestyle change. Part of that is recognizing what you can live without not just physically, but also as part of your enjoyment. I LOVE baking and making sweets. I love eating sweets. And I intend to keep them in my diet - in moderation.
Journaling food is a great way to lose weight. I always seem to have such a hard time with keeping my calories on the low end when I’m not journaling, but rather counting in my head, but when I journal I find it quite easy. In fact, when journaling, I find the hard part is getting ENOUGH calories.
Take today, for example. I woke up at the leisurely hour of 1pm. I’m on vacation for the next month and a half, so most days will likely be like this as I am naturally a night owl. It is now 6pm and I tend to go to bed around 1am during this time. I have eaten my breakfast (8 strawberries, 1 banana, and a clementine/mikan), lunch (fried garlic rice), and a delightful snack just now of two Oreos. I wasn’t actually hungry for those Oreos, btw, but I made Oreo truffles for Taka for V-day and I still had leftover Oreos. I’ve been eating 2 a day for the past 3 days to not waste the remaining. Those were my last two.
ANYWAY! I track the time and the calories of everything. Right now, I’m at 720. When I have my dinner later, it will be my egg muffin sandwich and a hot chocolate, which brings me to a total of 1020 calories for the day. I won’t be hungry after that meal until I fall asleep, so I keep feeling that I need to add more to my dinner. HOWEVER, that goes against another thing that I’ve been trying to build which is the whole intuitive eating. I don’t really want to eat if I’m not hungry and I don’t want to eat just to eat. I could always add some edamame with my dinner, but again, I don’t want to eat just to eat.
The past few days have been like this. Tracing back from today… yesterday put me at 900, the day before was 1600 (Taka had the day off and we went out to eat), the day before was 850 or so. But the thing is - I”M NOT HUNGRY. Should I still eat just to eat??
Today is kinda a meh day cuz I’m lazy and am not going to the store to get anything, but usually even though my calories are low, all my nutrients are also accounted for - I just don’t have that magical “at least 1200 calories” in my body each day.
So, I wonder how much of this is psychology. Does seeing the numbers on my paper affect my sense of appetite? I’ve written before about how, while growing up, I never learned to listen to if I were full or not because of my family’s eating style, so maybe it’s gonna be a much longer road before I figure out exactly how to do everything right. :/